Puzzle Pieces

I've gotten a lot of questions, but I common response to my adjustment back has been, "So how have you changed?" (insert doubtful eyebrows). I realize that most people may not recognize that they are sounding like the doubt what I'm saying because hey- I look the same, right? Ya- wrong. The problem is that I have no clue how to describe it. It pretty similar to trying to describe New Zealand- too many words. And, they end up coming out all jumbled and not making any sense when I try... oober frustrating. Today while talking to a friend I used to drive to Church in Indy I finally got one analogy right- I'm like the puzzle piece that went missing under the couch for a few months, then when someone randomly finds me... I don't fit like I used to. Those months away from all the other pieces let me change in ways that I didn't anticipate, although everyone still expects me to make the picture complete. I know everyone wants me to snap back into life how I used to, but I honestly don't ever want to. Because all those things that changed me are now a part of me... and although I can't always put words together to try and explain them, they are still there. I don't ever want to forget those memories or feelings I had when jumping off a bridge or even saying some things that probably weren't GLC (good life choices). So now I'm here with a different perspective on life, different goals, and a realization that not everything is the pretty picture I thought it was when I left it (Was I just blind to things before I left?). She pointed out that after her Mom studied abroad it took her about two months to get comfortable again. "She said it was much harder coming back- everyone has these expectations of you..." Yep, pretty much. They might not been spoken expectations, but even the comments of "Ew, are you going to eat that? (when making one of my fav NZ foods- Grilled chese with pinapple)" pretty much squash my heart. Because, yes I am- and it sucks that you can't be open enough to try it. I guess I'll have to check in after two months to see how its all going. Maybe then I'll be able to explain things better.